an awkward night at the mexican restaurant.

Last night John & I went to run some errands in the next town over (still in our county) and afterwards decided to eat at the Mexican restaurant before heading home to watch the Olympics.  As soon as we walked in and were seated we knew it was going to be an interesting experience.  We were seated at a booth in the bar area which happened to be the unofficial "high school kids hang out" that night.  You see, even though this town is bigger than ours, it's still really small & there still is not much going on... and bless their hearts, there's not much to do besides hang out at Wal*Mart.  So, okay, we're the oldest in the room aside from two men in their late thirties sitting at the bar. 

While we sat amongst the giggles and flirtations of all the kids across the room, our conversation was mostly reminiscing about the summer before senior year of high school and the weird music choices this establishment was playing:  a country song (John was a bit horrified that I knew all the words to the country songs... I have to remind him of my Kentucky roots, that stuff just seeps into my brain without me even realizing it), then a rap song, then a Top 40 hit, then an old country song, then another rap song, and then Cooperhead Road.  It was when Cooperhead Road came on that things started to get really weird.

Five girls (I'm guessing 15-16yrs) were seated at one of the booths at the far end of the bar area (John & I were in the middle of the room, right across from the bar), when Cooperhead Road came on two girls started stomping their feet in rhythm, and then one got up and started dancing.  Now, I'm not hip to all these choreographed dances... I mean, I know my fair share as a faithful wedding attendant, but I did not know this particular line dance that this girl was doing.  I want to point out that Ponytail (that's what we will call this girl) was the youngest looking one in this group... if she wasn't with the other girls that looked a bit older, I would've guessed her age to be about 13.  I'm pretty sure that Ponytail was about 15 though.  Anyway, Too Much Eyeliner, Curly Sue, & Tries Too Hard decide to join their friend Ponytail in this dance.  Now there are four girls dancing to Cooperhead Road in the middle of a Mexican Restaurant at 6pm on a Wednesday night.  The fifth girl in their group stayed at the table.  John and I are bemused by these girls clearly seeking attention from the bartender, men at the bar, and their classmates seated on the opposite end of the bar room.  So Creepy Bachelor #1 gets up from the bar and at first I'm horrified because I think he's going to start dancing with them, but he just goes over and moves some tables and chairs out of the way for them so they have room... then sits back at the bar with Creepy Bachelor #2 and they watch the girls a bit and then return to their drinks.  Cooperhead Road ends, the girls sit down, giggling about their performance.  A few other random songs play until the girls get up and Tries Too Hard gives the waiter her iPod and tells him to start playing a certain song.  He complies, and then suddenly we are in the middle of a dance club - booming bass, dirty lyrics, the works.  Some older women walk in to sit at the bar and are taken aback by what is going on in here.  The four girls have gone back to their "dance floor" and start another one of those choreographed line dance things but this one has some bumping and grinding in it.  Creepy Bachelor #1 let's out a "yeaaaaaah" as the girls shake their booties.  CB #1&2 both turn their chairs to stare directly at these young girls.  The bartender and the waiter are smiling at the girls, the old bachelors are leering, their classmates are contemplating coming over and dancing... this is what this little gaggle wants, clearly.  John and I are getting super uncomfortable because Ponytail has affixed her "bedroom eyes" on the old creepsters while she shakes her hips, CB #1 is still letting out "yeaaaahs" as the girls dance and talking to CB#2 about the young girls, and we are sitting in the middle of a Mexican Restaurant at 6PM on a Wednesday night in a tiny town in our country county and there is booty-shakin music blasting in this room.  I tell John that we have to leave now, he whole-heartedly agrees... because there are many things wrong with this picture and Creepy Bachelor #1 looks like he is so close to bumping and grinding all up on Ponytail (who looks SO young, y'all... so young) and pedophilia is just not for me.   These girls were no longer just having fun with their girlfriends.  And I had one of my first "I'm getting old moments" when I legitimately wondered "where are their mothers?!" while simultaneously wishing I had grabbed condoms to hand out to everyone in the room and tell them to "make good choices" and "remember: no means no."  Oi vey.  It was so awkward.  I told John I was glad we were leaving before the cops are called (this music was LOUD and there were young girls bumping and grinding while grown men leered).  As soon as I walked out into the sunshine I shivered all the skeevies off and wanted to shower to get the look of those men out of my whole being.  Ew.

Most awkward Mexican restaurant experience ever.


  1. Omg that is SO freaking bizarre! And Brian would have died if he had been there. Like seriously. When Sex and the City 2 came out to theaters, a group of girls at BJs (a restaurant, don't know if they're everywhere though) were all wearing pink Sex and the City shirts and boas. They were either going to see it or had just seen it. Anyway, out of nowhere, one of the girls gets up and starts dancing. Brian immediately felt SUPER uncomfortable and immediately wanted to go home. To this day, he'll still sometimes say, "Ugh remember that awkward time at BJs?" and then cringes.

  2. Oh but obviously what you witnessed was a hundred times crazier!

  3. I wish I could say that I'd have the couth to get up and leave, but I'd probably loudly talk about how ridiculous they were acting and laugh. Hysterically.