"I'm not crazy! I'm not! I'm not!"

So next weekend is opening weekend for the play I'm in, "Crimes of the Heart." I guess I feel pretty prepared. I just kinda don't have a costume yet, but that is a minor detail.... ha.

The experience with this play has been different for me. I was flying all around for a lot of time and couldn't be at that many rehearsals... but I'm pretty good at memorizing my lines and blocking fast so I caught up quickly. It is a very small cast. It ties for the smallest one I've been in along with "Nunsense." So smallest straight play cast since "Nunsense" was a musical. The guy that plays my lawyer in the play got tuberculosis or something of that nature and Rusty recasted him with this guy who is A THOUSAND PLUSPLUS times better than the original lawyer. But that has been interesting because he just came along a bit ago and we go up so soon. But he doesn't creeeeeeeep me or the other women out like the last one did, so I'm glad he got the vapors or whateverthehell it was.

Now let's talk about my character. She is the easiest character I've had to play for a long time. Sometimes acting is a stretch because you are nothing like the character at all (eg Annie from "Miracle Worker" or Sister Mary Leo in "Nunsense" and I could go on) and don't understand why they do the things they do or they have a completely different background or whatever. But this character is very much like me I think. My thought process is fairly similar and I don't know, I perfectly understand why she says and does everything she does in the play. Her life is definitely more extreme than mine but whatever. Okay, so here is the scary part...
My character is mentally unstable, she needs a lawyer because she shot her mentally and physically abusive husband in the stomach, and she tries half-heartedly to kill herself multiple times. I'm pretty darn sure this means I have mental problems if I think a character like this is totally justified in her actions and speech. Sigh.

I am crazy a little bit I guess. We all are at some point in our lives. I've been crazy this week. I can't even begin to name all of the emotions I have gone through so far and how many times I have cried. I just cried this morning talking to my friend at work, Danielle. And then she took me to the campus Starbucks to make me feel better. I got a Naked Green Machine smoothie drink that kinda tastes like baby food but Danielle assures me I need because of all the vitamins and whatnot - and I've been neglecting to eat as much as I should so I agreed with her. Then on the way back Danielle told me some news about her family and she started to cry and we were just a mess. I asked if she wanted to go back to Starbucks to feel better and we laughed. Ugh. Life.

I stayed at my parents house last night and it was probably the best thing I've done all week. Sometimes I just need my mom. I brought Penny with me and so I had Penny and Murray (my sweet old old dog) curled up with me last night as I slept. I decided to have a "school work free" night and watch Freaks and Geeks DVDs and I feel so much better because of this decision.
Over it.

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