wrap up. [or, a super long boring post that is only here for the benefit of the author of said post]

My 2010 has sucked.  It's no secret - especially to those that know me even remotely well.  Without getting into too many details, basically I was kind of blindsided and my whole world took a drastic turn.  It's definitely fair to say that I've cried way more tears than ever this past year.  To the point where I didn't even know it was possible to cry that much.  I'm surprised I didn't float away like Alice in her sea of tears.  Seriously.  But this is not what I want to focus on - I just figured in order to get the scope of things you need a little background.  I didn't know where I was heading and have kind of put my life on hold until I could reevaluate properly.  To be honest, I've been kind of a lazy human being, but to anyone that's had so much sadness in them I'm sure they'll understand sometimes you just can't do anything and you need a break.

Let's look at the good things.  I have the most amazing group of friends.  I really found a tight knit group of people that I love so dearly and trust with everything in me.  For this, I am forever grateful.  I feel like my friendships that have started or grown in this year are some of the best I've ever had and probably will ever have.  I've had so many perfect moments with friends this summer, fall, and winter that sometimes it was like I had to step back and really take it all in - was I really laughing that much?  Was I that happy?  Yes... and they made me forget and deal with things and focus on the positive and just... so much more.  I'm madly in love with all of my friends.  Crazy in love (got me lookin so crazy in love).

The last breaths of 2010 have definitely breathed new life into me.  I'm so hesitant to even talk about it because I feel silly to be this stupidly happy and this hopeful.  It's extremely scary and for a while I've denied it because of how scared I was, but I just can't.  This past week has been amazing for me.  Amazing.  I can't even describe it.  Literally.  I've tried.  As a certain someone will tell you, I'm not good with explaining how I feel or what I think.  I'm rather shit at it.  I'll absolutely never be a writer.  I know how I feel, but I can't articulate it most of the time.  Which is fine with me.  Ha.  So this is how I'll try to explain it:
Sometimes you just don't know how good things can be until you get a great thing.  It's like you settle for something but you don't realize you're settling because it's still nice and you're pretty happy and life is good and all that.  The best way I can see it in my head is like being 13 years old.  That's the year I got glasses for the first time.  I didn't realize my vision was poor because my eyes and mind had adapted.  I knew I was having some trouble but didn't really think about it too much because I thought that was how everything looked.  It wasn't until I got my first pair of glasses and put them on that I realized just how much I was missing.  THAT'S how things were supposed to look.  I'm just really, reallyreallyreally happy right now.  I feel like I'm probably jinxing myself.  Especially putting it out there on the internet for the world to see.  But it's just really nice to be able to see so clearly. I didn't know it could be like this.

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{OKAY READERS - THOSE THAT ACTUALLY READ THIS.  MY NEXT POST WON'T BE SO SAPPY.  THIS WAS MAINLY JUST FOR ME.  SO I CAN REMEMBER.  AND NEXT POST THERE WILL BE MORE PICTURES BECAUSE I'M DYING TO SHARE SOME OF THE THINGS I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS ALREADY.  AND I'M SURE COME CHRISTMAS MORNING THERE WILL BE MORE THINGS TO SHARE.  NEXT POST WILL BE HAPPY}